Captain Swan Shorts
by brownhairedlass
Summary: My collection of Captain Swan one-shots that will be updated frequently whenever I write more.
1. Nightmares

_Summary: Emma has another nightmare and Killian is always there to comfort her. Post season 4 finale but Emma is not the Dark One._

* * *

It happens so suddenly. The sword in his back, piercing his heart… His body collapsing… Right before her eyes…

In her vision she's frozen in shock, staring at his lifeless body, unable to tear her eyes away from the scene. In reality she screams. Loud enough to wake both of them.

He instinctively pulls her closer to him, whispering soothing words in her ear as he gently strokes her blonde hair.

He knows she's had another nightmare. They've been quite frequent the last couple of weeks, ever since they came back from Isaac's alternate reality. In every single one of them she sees him die all over again. Every single time she wakes up, screaming, with tears streaming down her face.

Every night she clings to him, needing to be close to him, needing to feel the beating of his heart and to hear him breathe. She needs to be sure that he is alive. She needs to be sure that he is there with her. Because she can't bear to lose him again. And she doesn't want to be without him. Ever again.

He wipes away her tears and presses a kiss to her forehead.

"It's alright love, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

She wants to say it, even though she's already said it many times, even though he knows. She needs to say it. She needs to say it while she still has the chance to say it. Because if there's anything she has learned in her thirty years of living it is that one never knows what tomorrow brings. And she wants him to know it, needs him to know it.

"I love you".

"And I you."


	2. Leave Me Alone

_Prompt: Emma catches Killian watching her house from across the street._

* * *

He's been standing there for five minutes now, staring. Just staring, not moving from his spot across the street, unaware that she's also watching him from her bedroom window. Thanks to the protective spell she's placed on her home it is impossible for anyone standing outside to see anything that goes on inside. She likes her privacy, especially now that everyone in town is convinced that she is now a villain. If only they knew. If only _he_ knew.

But he can't know yet, no one can. Because if they did they wouldn't let her do it. They tried to stop her once before, thankfully it didn't work. But it was clear that her family could no longer be trusted. They didn't understand, they would never understand.

She wonders what he's thinking, why he is standing there in the first place. Is he looking for her? Planning a break-in? Whatever he wants she can't allow him to interfere with her plans.

In a cloud of dark smoke she has gone from the bedroom, only to appear next to him on the pavement across from the house.

Her presence has startled him, she can tell. He looks nervous.

"Swan," he acknowledges.

"Killian," she says, grinning. "How are you?"

She can see the flash of anger in his piercing blue eyes as he looks at her.

"How do you bloody think I am?"

 _'Alive thanks to me'_ she wants to say but instead she says, "why are you here?"

"I'm here to get some answers," he says.

"You have yet to ask me anything," she says cooly. She's tired of this. Why can't he just trust her? Why can't people leave her alone?

"Don't play games with me, Swan, you know exactly what I mean! What the hell happened back in Camelot that you refuse to tell us?"

He's angry, frustrated. She can see it all in his eyes.

"That's my business," she says, glaring at him.

Killian sighs in defeat. The look he gives her is enough to make her want to burst into tears. Pure desperation.

"We're trying to help you Emma," he says softly. "If you would just tell me, II can help you - we can help you, your family. If you would just let us!"

"I. Don't. Need. Your. Help. Help!" she says, glaring at him. "Don't you get it? There's _nothing_ you can do! If you want to help then stay out of my way!"

She reappears in her bedroom. Through the window she sees him walk away, glancing up at her house longingly one last time before he disappears from view.

* * *

Requested by Anonymous on Tumblr.


	3. Should Have Let Me Die

_Summary: Emma successfully tethers Killian to excalibur and saves his life, however when he reappears before her he is less than grateful._

* * *

He's standing a few feet across from her, his sea blue eyes staring coldly into hers. She is a bit taken aback but she is too shocked over her own reflection in the sword for it to really bother her. This is what they warned her about. They were right, it seems that she has taken the final step into the darkness. She has lost the battle. But that is of little importance now. She puts down the sword and takes a step closer towards Killian.

"Killian," she says softly, looking into his eyes once more.

"Emma," he says. "What happened?"

Despite the obvious fear and confusion in his voice Emma can't help but grin at him. "It worked," she says. "You're alive. I saved you!"

"So you really did it," he states. "You did it after everyone told you not to?" He's saying it so casually that Emma has a hard time deciding what to make of this question.

"Yes," she says, uncertainly. "I did it!"

"Why?" he says, sounding thick.

"It was the only way to save you," she says. "I had no other choice."

Killian takes a step closer towards her.

"Yes you did," he says. "There is always a choice!"

"What? Let you die? I couldn't let you die."

Emma is shocked to see the flash of anger in his eyes.

"YES YOU COULD!" he says loudly, startling her even more. "You could and you _should_ have!"

"Killian-"

"I TOLD YOU TO LET ME GO AND YOU SHOULD HAVE!"

She can't believe what she's hearing. She has managed to save his life and he is blaming her for not letting him die? Does he really expect her to give him up? He has never yelled at her like that before and it's scaring her.

"I DIDN'T WANT TO LOSE YOU!" she yells back at him. "I SAVED YOU!"

"YOU CURSED ME!" he says. "You would rather curse me with dark magic than let me die in peace! You did this for yourself, not for me!"

Emma grits her teeth in anger. "I did do this for you, for us! So we could be together! Don't you understand that? I did it for our future!"

"Some future!" he answers coldly.

She can no longer hold back the tears.


	4. 5 Times

_Prompt: 5 times Emma realized she wanted to marry Killian._

* * *

The first time is after Emma has moves out of her parents' loft. Mary Margaret has invited her and Killian over for dinner.

Emma has been nervous. Like she is in high school and is about to introduce her newest boyfriend to her parents for the first time. At the time she still isn't sure how her father feels about the relationship and she hasn't been able to dismiss her fears that something will go wrong.

Of course she doesn't tell Killian about it, not wanting to make him nervous as well but he must sense her nerves because he simply looks at her with that devilishly handsome smile on his face and tells her how much he looks forward to it.

That puts an end to her fears.

And truth be told the evening can't be going any better. Everything is perfect. Her parents are happy, she is happy, and Killian seems to be enjoying himself as well.

Her mother has made some sort of Indian curry dish with chicken and noodles, the most delicious thing Emma has tasted since first arriving in Storybrooke, that is except for Granny's lasagna.

They each enjoy a glass of red wine on the side and a piece of homemade pear pie - because the Charmings don't eat apples. And they all talk, laugh and are totally relaxed in each other's company. It is like they do this all the time, just a normal family dinner.

That's when Emma realizes that this is what she has been missing. A family - and not just parents, a family of her own, a husband, and children - she wants Henry to have a real father figure again and she wants him to have siblings. And she wants Killian. And more nights like these. She wants her dashing pirate by her side for every family dinner that is to come for the rest of her life.

The second time is in Kilian's room at Granny's when they're lying in his bed, covered in sweat, exhausted after making love.

She turns her head to look at his face. The sweat makes his hair stick to his forehead and he is visibly tired and desperately trying to catch his breath. And Emma thinks that he has never looked more handsome than he does now.

And that's when she knows that there is no man that she would rather be with.

The moment he wraps his arms around her and pulls her close against his chest she just knows that she is home and that this is where she wants to be. With him.

The third time isn't real. She watches his lifeless body fall to the ground, unable to move, unable to say anything, not even able to cry. She just stands there and watches, unable to take her eyes off him, as if she believes that if she stares long enough and hard enough she will see something different.

"No," she screams in her head over and over again as she lets Henry drag her away. It can't end like that. He can't be gone. He is a survivor he can't die on her.

When she is standing in front of Regina, pleading her to stop the wedding she knows it. She knows that she can't bear the idea of a future where he isn't in it. She wants him by her side, needs him by her side. She was an idiot for never telling him any of that.

That's why she clings to him, not letting him out of her sight as soon as they are reunited. Now she knows that there will never be another one like him, not for her anyway.

The fourth time she is disappointed. Slightly. Because Killian assures her that it is not a proposal when he hands her a ring he has been carrying in a chain around his neck for who knows how long.  
She's surprised because she didn't know she wanted this until now. But now all she wants to do is get back home and get started on her future with Killian. But there's something she has to do first.

All the more reason to succeed on this quest.

She admires the ring in the palm of her hand. She wonders where he got it from but doesn't ask, sensing he doesn't want to talk about it. It doesn't matter right now anyway. Killian has just given her all the motivation she needs today. Just knowing he will be here, waiting for her to return to him is enough. And hearing him say the words that she didn't know she had been longing to hear, that she needed to hear.

Their kiss is soft but filled with longing and the need to be close to one-another. They're both thinking it, she knows it. This could be their last kiss. Because Killian is right. The darkness within her may be immortal but she is not. Though she is confident that she will return.

"I love you too," she says and she watches him head back towards the diner as she puts Killian's chain around her neck. She'll be back, of course she will. She'll get back to him and their white picket-fence.

The fifth time is when Killian shocks her by finally asking that question.

She doesn't know what to say. They've both known that this would happen eventually. They've become inseparable over the last couple of months and neither of them can bear the idea of a life where they are no longer together.

But still she cannot help but think about her past and how what they have now seems almost too good to be true.

She's thinking about Neal who basically turned her over to the police to go to jail for a crime that he committed. She's thinking about Walsh, the man she almost married who turned out to be a flying monkey.

But she pushes her fears away. Killian is not Neal and he is not Walsh. She now wants to laugh at her own insecurities because this man has proved to her over and over again that he is and always will be fully committed to her - to them.

She knows her answer now. She now realizes that she has always known. And she gives him her answer and leaps into his arms, catching his lips in a passionate kiss, not minding the tear that has escaped the corner of her eye.


	5. The Greatest Price

_There's been a lot of talk about what will happen later on and there's one thing everyone seems to agree on. Someone has to die and I think we all know who it is. Here's my take on what I think will happen in the future._

* * *

"Emma," Killian says softly, looking at her with pleading eyes. "You have to do this."

They are sitting on the cold stone floor in her basement - their basement actually, with Excalibur lying between them, neither of them touching it.

Emma shakes her head. "No, there has to be another way to destroy the darkness."

"You and I both know this is the only way, love."

Emma looks down on the hands folded in her lap. She wants to curse Arthur and his minions for what they tried to do to her family, for what they tried to do to her, and for what Arthur did to Killian. She wants to curse Zelena for her betrayal. And she wants to curse Merlin for having a hand in the creation of this darkness living inside the both of them. She wants to make them pay for what they all did. They should pay the price not her, and certainly not Killian.

Emma's head jerks upwards at the sound of metal scraping the earth. Killian has picked up the sword.

"What are you doing?" she asks.

"If I could do it myself I would have done it already," he says. "I wish I _could_ but it has to be you. You have to do it."

"We don't have to," she pleads him desperately. "We could handle it - together. We could still have a future!"

"But at what cost?" he says. "What kind of future would that be?"

"I don't care what I have to give up as long as we're together," she insists. "As long as you're with me I don't care!"

"You don't really mean that love," he says softly, tracing the enchanted blade with his hook. "Nothing is worth living in eternal darkness. I couldn't do that to you or to our family. It wouldn't be a life worth living. Could _you_ do that to me?"

Emma is unable to answer. She knows that he's right. It was the same thing with Neal. He begged her to separate him from his father to allow Rumpelstiltskin to help them against Zelena. As a result of this he died in her arms. They had all died in her arms.

 _"Ain't fate a bitch!"_

Regina's words plays over in her head.

She tries to speak but she fails. All she can do is let the tears flow while she sobs.

Killian moves beside her and instantly pulls her into his arms. Tears of his own are threatening to spill but he can't let them. He has to be strong for his Swan. A part of him wants to agree with her and tell her that they can try again, that they really can have a future as Dark Ones. Because he can't bear to see her like this, so broken and so scared - because of him.

He regrets everything he said to her when he discovered the truth of what happened to them. He regrets yelling at her and calling her selfish and most of all he regrets calling her a villain. Because even with darkness inside of her she is still the furthest thing from a villain. She is good. Too good for him. He doesn't deserve her. But somehow he has managed to earn her love and he hates himself for being the reason for her suffering. Perhaps _he_ is the selfish one for wanting to give up on life, for refusing to let her save him, because of his own fears of the darkness.

Emma has buried her face in his chest and her tears are staining his shirt. He wants to tell her that everything is going to be alright. He wants to tell her that he will stay with her, that nothing is going to stand in the way of their future. But he can't. And she knows it, hence the tear stains on his shirt. They both know that this is the right thing to do - and the only thing to do.

"What I said to you the other night, Emma - I really meant it. I will always love you, no matter what you've done."

 _"Then stay here and love me,"_ Emma thinks to herself but she can't bring herself to say it. It would be too selfish.

Killian pulls away from her. He gently wipes the remaining tears from her face and to her surprise, smiles.

"It'll be alright Emma," he says. "You'll be the savior again."

"I couldn't save you," she says. Her voice is still thick from crying.

"You already have, love," he says, caressing her cheek. "You gave me a reason to live. You pulled me from the darkness, you saved me from myself."

The look he is giving her holds nothing but love, something that is probably mirrored in her own eyes as she looks back at him.

"What you're asking me to do is-"

"I know," he says softly, barely above a whisper. "But this time you have to let me go. I couldn't ask for a better way to end my life than to see the Dark One being destroyed once and for all."

Emma suppresses the urge to break down once more, something that he doesn't miss.

"Smile, love," he says. "We're about to save the world."

She forces on a smile.

"Ah, that's better," he says.

He rises to his feet, with Excalibur still in his good hand. He holds out his hook to her. She is hesitant but allows him to pull her to her feet. He offers the sword to her but she doesn't take it, instead Killian finds himself taken aback by the sudden force of her lips pressed against his. He is only too eager to respond and the sword falls to the ground with a big _clank_ as he pulls her to him with both his arms, well aware that this could be their last kiss.

He doesn't know how long it lasts. Seconds? Minutes? Hours perhaps? But after a while he forces himself to pull away. They need to do this now, before he changes his mind, before the darkness takes full control of him.

He picks up the sword and offers it to her once again. This time she accepts it.

She looks down at the cursed blade with both their names carved into the metal. So much for their future, she realizes. Any chance at a future was doomed the moment she chose to fill Killian with dark magic instead of letting him die in peace. She has to do this. For herself, for Henry and for her family and all of Storybrooke - for Killian.

"You know what you have to do," he says. "You have to kill me."

"Killian I-" but she doesn't know what to say.

"Please, Swan," he says. "Release me from the darkness."

Emma slowly nods. She takes a step closer towards him, never taking her eyes off his face.

"I love you," she says and once again presses her lips against his in a passionate kiss. Killian barely has any time to react before he feels a sharp pain in the left side of his chest. Emma has stabbed his heart with Excalibur.

Several things happen at once. Their ears ring with the agonizing screams of the previous Dark Ones until there's no sign of them left in their minds. The black substance is pulled from their bodies and gets sucked in by a bright, white vortex above their heads. Excalibur vanishes into thin air and Emma catches Killian's collapsing body before it hits the ground.

When she looks down at herself she notices that she is no longer wearing her black crocodile skin attire but is back in her beautiful white gown from Camelot.

"We did it," Emma says, like she can't believe that she is finally free from the darkness. "The darkness is gone."

Killian chuckles weakly. "That's my Swan," he says, smiling up at her, love and happiness shining in his sea blue eyes. Moments later that expression is gone and he is no longer breathing.

"Goodbye Killian."


	6. A Second Chance

_Summary: Killian finds Emma sitting alone in the kitchen one evening and he wonders what's bothering her._

* * *

It was late in the evening when Killian came home from work and found his wife sitting alone in the kitchen, holding a mug of hot chocolate with whipped cream and cinnamon on top between her hands. She didn't look up when he sat down at the table across from her. She just kept on looking down at the hot beverage in front of her as if trying to decide whether she should drink it or not.

Killian knew when something was bothering his Swan and something was definitely bothering her right now. But he also knew better than to outright ask her what was on her mind. She would tell him eventually, she always did.

"Where's Henry this evening?" he decided to ask instead to break the silence.

"He's spending the weekend with Regina," she said, pushing the mug away from her. "He said something about going camping with Robin and Roland tomorrow."

"And you miss him," Killian guessed.

Emma looked up and met his eyes. "Well, yeah," she admitted.

Killian smiled. "Well he'll only be gone for the weekend, Swan, it's not like he's moving out."

Emma grabbed the mug, raised it to her lips and downed its contents in one go.

"That's just it," she said, not bothering to wipe her chocolate mustache off. "He doesn't live here. Not technically. All his mail gets sent to Regina's house. He's not just my son."

"So," Killian said, "You wish Henry was around more? You wish you didn't have to share him with Regina?"

"It sounds terrible when you say it like that," Emma said, looking down at her now empty mug.

"Not at all, love," Killian said, grabbing her hand from across the table. "You love him, it's natural."

"Sometimes I wish that I had kept him." she said. "That I hadn't given him up for adoption."

Killian couldn't imagine how difficult it must have been for her. How does one give up their child? Of course it had been no problem for his father. He had just disappeared without a trace, without even saying goodbye. He would have never been able to do something so selfish if he had a child. But what Emma did was not out of selfishness, quite the opposite. She had given away her son in hope of giving him his best chance, to let others give him what she couldn't.

"You're reunited now," he said. "You got him back, you're as much Henry's mother as Regina is."

"I know," Emma said, her green yes boring into his. "But that's not enough. I missed ten years of his life, I wasn't there when he took his first steps or when he said his first word or on his first day of school. A part of me was angry at my mother for wanting Neal, for thinking I wasn't enough but now I get it."

Killian replayed her words carefully in his head, trying to piece everything together that she had just told him. He remembered only too well what had happened in the echo cave in Neverland. That's where he first confessed his feelings to Emma. And that's where Emma's mother told her husband that...

His eyes widened.

"Emma, are you saying that-"

"Yes," Emma said. "I want another chance. I want another chance to be a mother, to do it right and not have to do it alone."

"How long have you felt like this?" he asked, not knowing what else to say.

"I don't know," she said. "I know we haven't really talked about it but-"

"You want more children," he interrupted her.

"Yes," Emma admitted. "I do. But what about-"

Killian hushed her, knowing what she was asking. What did he want?

He squeezed her hand affectionately.

"Emma, there is nothing I would love more than to have a family with you."

"So," Emma looked at him hesitantly. "What you're saying is-"

Killian nodded. "Let's have a family."

It's a good thing Henry was away for the weekend.


	7. The Sonogram

_Prompt: Killian proudly showing the entirety of Storybrooke the sonogram of his and Emma's baby._

* * *

A few years ago Killian would never have thought it possible that he could ever be this happy. In fact he still wasn't quite sure that he even _deserved_ this kind of happiness, not after everything he had done. And he knew Emma felt the same way. They'd both done terrible things as dark ones that would haunt their nightmares for years to come but they had each other. Somehow the whole Dark One drama had brought them even closer together. Their love for each other was even stronger than before. And here he was, sitting in a booth at Granny's with a picture in his hand that showed the very proof of their love.

Emma had dropped him off at Granny's after their appointment with Doctor Whale this morning. She had insisted on getting back to work immediately, having wasted a lot of time waiting for Doctor Whale to call them in.

What he saw in that exam room this morning was something that he would never forget even without the picture in his hand to remind him. Today he had seen his child for the first time. _Their_ child - his and Emma's. The little product of true love that was growing inside her stomach.

This was something he had never thought he would experience. Fatherhood. He had never thought himself capable of raising a child, not after Milah's death anyway. The Jolly Roger was no place for a child to grow up, it was too dangerous. But the pirate's life was behind him now, this was his home now. Storybrooke.

It had not been easy to get used to the technology in this realm but now that he had gotten used to it he was loving it. This world's inventions never ceased to amaze him. And this morning he had seen his unborn child moving inside its mother. It was ingenious. To see a child before it was born.

Emma had told him that in about a month or so they'd be able to see if the child was a boy or a girl. Emma was betting on a boy but Killian was sure that it was a little princess that was currently growing inside his wife. He certainly hoped so, imagining a little girl with Emma's curly blonde hair and green eyes, grinning up at him. Yes, that would be perfect. In any case he hoped the baby would take more after her than him.

He was too busy staring at the sonogram to even notice that Granny had left her post behind the counter and was now standing in front of his table, waiting to take his order.

"I haven't got all day you know," she said. "What'll it be?"

"Just the usual," he murmured, not even looking up at her.

Before he knew it Granny was back, placing a tray of lasagna in front of him along with a mug of black coffee.

Killian had immediately taken to this dish after settling in this realm. It wasn't American he'd been told but originated from some place called Italy. Those Italians were brilliant. He loved the pasta, the pizza and the ice cream. The food in this realm was definitely more enjoyable than the food back in the Enchanted Forest.

"How far along is she?"

Killian was startled by her question. He hadn't even noticed that Granny was still there.

"What?" he asked, finally taking his eyes off the sonogram in his hand.

"Your wife, how far along is she?"

Killian cursed internally. As far as he knew the only ones Emma had told about the pregnancy were her parents, Regina and Henry, he wasn't sure if anyone else in town knew or if she even wanted them to know yet but he supposed the secret was as good as out now so he said, "She's about six weeks along."

"Mind if I have a look?"

Killian smiled and handed Granny the sonogram.

Granny scanned the picture before handing it back to him. "Be sure to offer my congratulations to Emma," she said, smiling. Killian had never seen her smile before.

"Thank you."

Granny went back to the kitchen and Killian stuck his fork into the lasagna. He had almost finished when Robin joined him.

"You look tired, mate," Killian said. "No sleep last night?"

Robin shook his head. "Rebecca had a nightmare, she insisted on sleeping in our bed. She's a real kicker."

Killian chuckled. "Not easy being a father I take it." He was secretly wondering whether his little princess would be a kicker as well. Emma could be quite restless in her sleep.

"You know, I thought it would be a lot harder, especially with Zelena involved but things have been good. I had my doubts but Zelena's changed. Regina was right, having a child really does change you. You'll find that out for yourself soon."

Killian choked on his coffee.

"Regina told me," Robin said, smirking. "My wife keeps no secrets from me."

"I should have known," Killian said. "I suppose there's no use in keeping it a secret any longer."

He pushed the sonogram across the table for Robin to see and took another sip of his coffee.

"Is that-"

"Aye, the appointment was this morning."

"It's amazing what technology can do in this world, isn't it?" Robin said with a look of amazement on his face. Killian guessed he was thinking about the first time he saw the sonogram of his own child a couple of years ago.

"In a few years our children will probably be playing with each other."

Killian grinned and placed his now empty mug back on the table. "Aye, in a town this small the options are limited. Our children will probably be joined at the hip."

Killian tried to picture it. A little blonde girl with Emma's eyes running around with Rebecca, the red-headed daughter of Zelena and Robin, playing tag on the beach while he, Emma and Regina watched. Right now he couldn't imagine anything more beautiful.

"Robin! Killian!"

It was Henry. He was wearing his schoolbag. He must have gotten out of school early. It was only noon.

"Hello, lad," Killian greeted him. "What brings you here?"

"Grandma dismissed us early, we finished our assignments ahead of time," Henry said. "Mind if I join you?"

Killian smiled. "Not at all, why don't you go order yourself some lunch? My treat."

Henry grinned. "Thanks."

Killian moved over so Henry could place his bag on the seat next to him and sprinted off towards the counter.

The two men exchanged a look. Killian was sure that they were both thinking the same thing. What a lovely stepson they had.

Henry returned very quickly and let himself slide into the seat next to Killian.

"So?" he said eagerly. "Have you and mom been to the hospital yet?"

"Aye, your mother and I went this morning. Everything seems to be in order." He handed Henry the sonogram.

"Awesome," Henry said. "I hope it's a boy."

Killian chuckled. "Your mother seems to think that it is," he said.

"And you don't." Henry guessed.

"Call it a father's intuition, but I'm certain that it's a girl."

Henry snorted and gave him back the sonogram.

"Speaking of girls, where is yours?" he asked, grinning at Henry's blush.

"Violet's at the stables."

"It's been a while since we've seen her Henry, maybe you should invite her over for dinner again," Robin said.

"Guys please, keep your voices down," Henry begged.

The two men exchanged a look.

"Here you go, boy," Granny said, placing a medium-sized Hawaiian pizza in front of him along with a bottle of coke.

Henry thanked her and ripped off a slice and stuffed it into his mouth.

"You know I really hope it's going to be a lass," Killian told Robin. "They eat less."

Robin chuckled. "I better get going, Regina is expecting me, see you at home Henry."

Henry, who had his mouth full of pizza only nodded at his stepfather.

After Robin had gone people started swamping the place. Most of the townspeople came to the diner on a daily basis to eat their lunch and when he and Henry left about an hour later the secret was out. Everyone now knew that Emma was pregnant and Killian had only been too happy to show them all the sonogram of their child. He couldn't stop grinning as he and his stepson walked the short distance to their house together. This had quite possibly been the proudest moment of his life.


	8. Grief

_I just watched the season 5 winter finale and I couldn't go to sleep without writing something. I might possibly expand this into a longer story, feel free to tell me what you think about that._

* * *

She had made it very clear that she wanted to be left alone. She doesn't want to see anyone. There is only one person she wants to see and that person isn't here. He isn't here. And he never will be again.

Her eyes, red from all the tears shed in the last couple of hours alone, are staring up at the ceiling, looking at nothing in particular as she's lying on the couch in the living room of their house - _her_ house, twisting his ring between her fingers.

She can still feel the softness of his kiss against her lips and his arms around her. She's replaying his last words over and over again in her head. Because he will never speak to her again. He will never hold her again. And he will never kiss her again. And this ring is all she has left of him.

Well not exactly. There is one other thing.

Her left hand gently rubs her stomach, thinking about the little life that is growing in there. The little miracle, the product of their true love that was consummated in a field of middlemist flowers. Half of him and half of her.

She doesn't know what hurts more - that she will never see Killian again or that Killian will never know or see his child. He will never know what they have created, never know that he is a father.

If only she had found out sooner, then maybe - no, it wouldn't have made any difference, there was no other way to destroy the darkness. He did what he had to do. And she will make damn sure that Killian's sacrifice isn't in vain. This child will grow up and know what a hero its father was, how he sacrificed himself to save everyone. And she will tell their child about its father's adventures and she will protect that child with her life. She may have lost Killian but she will not let his child down.

She tries to imagine Killian's happiness if she could have told him the news. She can see his lips spreading into a grin and his eyes lighting up with happiness. She can feel him wrapping his arms around her and feel his lips brushing against hers and she can no longer suppress the sobs.


	9. Helplessly, Hopelessly, Wrecklessly

_Prompt: Helplessly, hopelessly, wrecklessly falling in love. Post season 5a._

* * *

After Neal, Emma had given up on men. She had been angry with herself for thinking that Neal could be any different from everyone else who had screwed her over in the past. No one was ever going to love her enough to stick around.

After she got out of jail Emma lived alone and she got used to living in solitude. Aside from the occasional one-night-stands she always made sure to keep men at arm's length.

That was until she met Killian Jones. He was able to see right through her and one by one he broke down the walls she had kept around herself for over a decade - just like that. Before she knew it she had fallen, hard. Now, thinking back on it, she was sure she could have fallen for him a lot sooner had it not been for her own stubbornness. And here she was two years later on her way to the underworld to get him back. If anyone had told her that she would some day go to the depths of hell for a man she would have rolled her eyes. And this wasn't just any man it was Captain freaking Hook. some might have thought she was mad for even attempting this but she didn't care. She was doing this. She had lost enough people already she was not going to lose this man. Even if she had to drag him by the collar, kicking and screaming in protest she would bring him back home. And she would succeed, no matter what.

* * *

After Milah he never thought he would find love again. He never found himself worthy enough of anyone's love. Sure he could lure every fair maiden in a tavern into bed with him and make them do what he wanted but could never love them or make them love him in return. Every woman's beauty paled in comparison to his Milah. Until that fateful day when a beautiful, blonde woman held a knife to his throat and she saw right through him.

He wanted her right from the beginning. He found himself imagining the various ways in which he could take her and he found her visiting his dreams quite often. But he found himself caring for her more than he should and after she kissed him he was a hopeless case. From that moment on his heart had been hers. And it had remained so to this day. And he had been so fortunate that she returned his feelings and the last years of his long life had been the best ones he had ever experienced. And while he had wished for better circumstances he could not think of a better way to go than to sacrifice himself so that she and her family could live and die as she held him in her arms.

It wasn't the first time he had died. But it would probably be the last. Third time was the charm, right? He had a lot of regrets but he did not regret loving his Swan. She would be fine, she would be safe. She would have a future.


	10. Villains Don't Get Happy Endings

_Emma and Killian remained Dark Ones. This one is rated M._

* * *

Their moans are tearing through the night, completely drowning out the thunder outside. Beads of sweat are trickling down her forehead as she rides him, hard. Neither one of them make any effort to be quiet. No one's going to hear them anyway, they're all alone - they're always alone, it's always just the two of them.

She squeals with delight as she finds herself being forced onto her back as he continues to thrust into her with a deliciously painful force that she swears could tear her body apart had she been an ordinary human being.

But neither of them are ordinary, they haven't been ordinary for quite some time. She can't remember how long it has been; she has difficulty remembering anything at all when they're like this, even her own name.

"Emma!" he cries out as he finds his release inside of her, which sends her over the edge with him for the - no, she can't remember the amount of orgasms he has given her tonight and it doesn't matter, right now she feels so deliciously spent. But she's not tired. She could keep doing this all night and so could he. They don't need sleep. They are incapable of sleeping. Neither one of them has slept for centuries.

He pulls out and rolls off her and rolls over to lie on his side, watching her as she tries to catch her breath.

"Happy anniversary, my love," he whispers and she shakes her head in disbelief, although he tells her this every year. How long is he going to keep track of their anniversaries? To her time doesn't matter anymore.

"How many is it now?" she asks.

"473, love," he says, pulling her against his chest. She sighs as she feels his hot breath on her neck.

"I wish you'd stop counting," she says quietly, holding his good arm tightly against her chest.

"So you tell me every year," he says. "But I am not going to stop counting," he whispers into her ear, which makes her shiver.

"I thought you said you were done punishing me," she murmurs.

"Aye, I forgave you a long time ago. I wouldn't be here with you now if I hadn't," he says between planting kisses on the back of her neck.

"Then why-" a moan escapes her lips as he kisses that sensitive spot on her collarbone.

"Stop talking, Swan," he hisses.

She nods. He's right. It's too painful, she doesn't want to think about it anymore. He knows what she was going to say anyway, he always does. After nearly 500 years he knows everything. This isn't the first time she has brought this up, well aware that he did not wish to discuss it. She doesn't know why she keeps trying. It isn't going to make either of them feel any better anyway, if anything it is just going to make her feel worse.

She knows he still resents her for what she did. She knows that the only reason she is still alive is that his love for her is stronger than his hatred. And she knows she should be grateful for that but a part of her wishes that he had just killed her when he had the chance, when she handed him the sword and sank to her knees in front of him, begging him to end her life.

He hadn't killed her ("If I don't get to die you don't either, Swan").

They are okay now. He has forgiven her, and as for his sins she doesn't think there is anything to forgive, she deserved everything she got. Neither one of them are the same as before and they never will be but they are okay. They are as good as they can be, given the circumstances.

She tries to forget the past and just enjoy the things he's doing to her, his hand caressing her breast, his lips trailing down her neck and shoulder, the feeling of him behind her.

She moans as he rolls on top of her, his piercing blue eyes looking into hers with a silent promise of indescribably pleasure.

She spreads her legs and he enters her again, slower this time and she sighs at the feeling it gives her.

Their rhythm is slow and he never breaks their eye contact. She loves this, when he takes his time, when he looks into her eyes the way he does now, like she is the most precious thing in all the realms, when he is gentle and runs his hands ever so carefully across every available inch of skin, like she is dipped in gold. She prefers these slow lovemakings to the wild fucking they usually engage in at night. This is when everything feels normal, when she can usually forget that they're all alone, that they are both broken beyond repair and that everyone else she has ever loved is long since gone.

* * *

She cries soundlessly as she's once again lying in his embrace, thinking of them and all that they've lost. She's wishing more than anything that she could just close her eyes and go to sleep. She wishes more than anything that she could have been strong enough to let him go all those years ago. She wishes that she didn't feel so guilty. This - this existence - is torture and she knows that he feels the same way and she also knows that he is enduring it for her and that the only reason they've lasted this long is because of her weakness and her selfishness. She knows that he blames her for it, for everything.

"I never meant for it to be like this," she says more to herself than to him. "This was not what I had in mind for our future."

"Tell me, Swan," he says, drawing lazy circles on her skin, "What did you have in mind."

"I wanted you," she says, her voice starting to sound thick. "And H-Henry and our house and I wanted more, I wanted-" she starts sobbing. It's been a while since she's spoken of her son. He died over four centuries ago and the last of his descendants died a few decades ago. She has no family left, her brother died before he could marry and she was never able to have any more children. The darkness has made her barren, she supposes it is a good thing, what kind of child would that be, the product of two Dark Ones.

He knows of this, he knows of her wish for a family, he wants it too and he hates that they can't have it but unlike her he had no hope of them ever achieving that kind of happiness after she saved his life ("Villains don't get happy endings, Swan!").

She agrees. Their happy ending had died that day in the field of middlemist flowers. What they have now is nothing compared to what they could have had. What they have now is not much of a life. She has often wondered if she would see them again, her family, if they were to die. But she can't die, they can't die, she won't let him die ever again, he's staying right here with her where she knows he's safe and she won't let him leave ever again.

"I wanted that too," he says softly. "But now I'm just glad I still have you."

"And I you," she whispers.

This is torture but being with him makes it bearable.


	11. I'm Sorry Swan

_Killian's last thoughts before dying - again._

* * *

The pain he feels when she impales him with the sword is nothing compared to the pain of seeing the tears in her eyes and hearing her sob into his shoulder. It is nothing compared to the pain of knowing that he is the reason for her suffering, both now and during the last twenty-four hours. Yes, he hadn't been himself but the words he spoke to her then are words he can never take back.

He gently touches her cheek with his good hand, looking into her tearful eyes, her beautiful, green eyes filled with pain because of him. Gods, she is so beautiful. How did he ever manage to make this kind-hearted, beautiful princess fall in love with him? He isn't worthy of her. He has failed her - again. He doesn't deserve to have her mourn the loss of his life, she is too good, she doesn't deserve this.

He briefly wonders if he is dead already, seeing the bright light in front of him but it has gone just as quickly as it has appeared and with it the Dark Swan in front of him has disappeared and in her place he sees Emma - his Emma, with her long, blonde hair cascading down her back, wearing her favorite red leather jacket. And he doesn't have the strength to voice his pain as she quickly pulls the sword from within his body, watching as it vanishes into thin air.

He can feel it, his cursed wound reopening on his neck as his Swan throws her arms back around him, holding him steady, which is a good thing because he is no longer able to stand on his feet.

Wait, something's wrong, he can still hear it, the darkness, calling for him but how is that possible? Of course, he should have known…

 _I'm sorry, Swan_.

* * *

 _Please tell me what you think._


	12. Nightmares Part 2

_Emma always has nightmares and Killian is always there to comfort her. Post swan Song and post Underworld._

* * *

 _She's standing there, frozen in shock as her own father thrusts his sword into his back and through his heart. He takes one last look at her before he falls to the ground, no longer moving…_

 _He's bleeding, pressing his good hand against the wound on his neck as he collapses…_

 _She's bent over him in the field of middlemist flowers, trying to hold back the tears as she tries to convince him to let her save him as he draws his last breath and lays motionless in the grass…_

 _She runs the sword through him, sobbing into his shoulder as she holds him…_

 _She watches in horror as the wound on his neck reopens as she pulls the sword from his body…_

 _She catches him as he loses his balance…_

 _They're on the ground, her body shielding his as her tears fall down on his chest…_

 _She holds onto his hand for as long as she can before they wheel the gurney out of her reach and she throws herself into her mother's arms…_

It's the same every night. She is no longer able to sleep without at least one of these scenarios playing over in her nightmares.

She awakes with a start, seeing his handsome face looking down on her, his expression plastered with fear and worry.

He pulls her into his embrace and she starts sobbing against his chest as he strokes her hair, whispering soothing words into her ear.

He no longer has to ask her what is troubling her. It is always the same. And there is little he can do for her, other than to wake her and pull her from her nightmares and hold her as she cries.

He hates himself for being the reason for her suffering. He hates that he has hurt her in this way, although not intentionally. Despite promising himself that he wouldn't do what every other man had done - left her. He still can't believe she came back for him, that she journeyed all the way to the underworld in search for him, to retrieve him.

The first thing she did when they got back was take off his chain with Liam's ring and put it around his neck, threatening to kill him herself if he ever dared to take it off again. Needless to say he has worn it every day since and the first thing she does when she wakes up is checking to see if it's still there. Like she does now. He feels her tugging on the chain, running her fingers along the golden metal of the ring.

"Killian," she says quietly, her voice still thick from crying. "Promise me that you won't leave me again. Not ever."

He pulls her closer against him and she wraps her arms around his torso, seemingly holding on for dear life. He places a kiss on the top of her head and murmurs, "I will never leave you again, love."

"Promise," she says against his chest.

"I promise," he assures her, "not until I'm old and grey."

She looks up at him, tears in her eyes and the hurt and desperation on her face hurts him more than all his three deaths combined.

The Emma Swan he used to know didn't beg, she wasn't desperate. But all that has changed. This is what has become of her, his beautiful Swan, more frightened, more nervous, too scared to let him out of her sight for too long. Ever since they got back she had rarely left his side and she was more vocal about her feelings for him and while he was not one to complain about the increased amount of intimacy between them it worried him. It's been three months now and she's still clinging to him as if he might die tomorrow, which he very well might, because despite his promise one can never know. He wonders if she will ever get over her constant fear of losing him.

"I love you," she says softly, looking into his eyes and he kisses her, gently on the lips, brushing away her tears with his thumb.

"I love _you_ ," he says. "No matter what, I will always love you, and I'm not going anywhere."

She lays her head on his chest, holding onto him with a tight grip and he once again places his arms around her protectively, hoping that she finds enough comfort in his embrace to go back to sleep.

"Now go back to sleep, love," he whispers. "I'll still be here in the morning."

* * *

 _Please leave a review._


	13. The Dreamcatchers

_Prompt: Killian breaks into Emma's dreamcatcher shed somehow. Takes place during 5a._

* * *

It was much more difficult to break into than expected, unlike the front door, which seemed to be enchanted to keep everyone but him and Henry from entering, this enchantment was different. As soon as he had failed to open the door he knew he had to break in, clearly there was something in this shed, which Emma did not want him to find. And he needed to find out what that was.

Luckily for him he still had some of Regina's potion left. It not only allowed him to rip out hearts but also to break through any magical barrier. He withdrew the tiny vial from his pocket and spilled a few drops on his hook. After making sure the rest of the potion was once again secured in his pocket he inserted the tip of his hook into the lock. His lips curved into a smile when he heard the click that told him it was unlocked. He wasted no time and pushed the door open.

Whatever he had expected to find in the shed this certainly wasn't it. Instead of a monster or something equally horrible he found himself surrounded by dreamcatchers, lots and lots of dreamcatchers all over the walls.

His eyes widened in realization, remembering what he had been told about these objects. He knew exactly why Emma kept these dreamcatchers locked up in here and he knew exactly why she would want to keep him out of there.

He searched the rows of dreamcatchers, wondering which one of them held _his_ memories.

"Even in Storybrooke breaking and entering is still a crime, you know," a cold voice said behind him, startling him.

He turned to see Emma standing in the doorway, glaring at him.

"And what do you consider stealing people's memories?" he replied coldly.

"Believe it or not, I did that to protect you, to protect all of you," she said.

"Stop speaking in riddles, Swan, you're making no bloody sense!" he hissed.

"You're the one who broke into _my_ property, _you_ should be the one explaining yourself not me!"

She sounded angry but her face showed no sign of anger, instead he saw - fear? She was afraid and his presence was making her nervous. Whatever it was these stolen memories contained it must have been something really awful, something she did _not_ want him to see.

"Don't try to turn this around, you know exactly why I'm doing this. Because you won't answer any of my questions. What the bloody hell happened in Camelot?"

He didn't know why he was so angry, he didn't know why he found himself wanting to slam her against the wall, lock his fingers around her neck and make her tell him what he wanted to know. Was he going mad? He would never hurt his Swan, no matter the circumstances, he wasn't that kind of man, not anymore. Wait - was she crying? Or was he just imagining the tear peaking out from the corner of her eyes?

"Killian," she said softly, he was taken aback by her complete change of mood. "I wish I could tell you everything, truly, but I just can't. Please trust me when I say that this is for the best."

 _"Don't trust her, she's the Dark One, she's manipulating you, she doesn't care about anyone but herself, why else would she have taken your memories?"_

He had no idea where it came from but the voice had a point, this was the Dark One, it wasn't his Emma, she was in there somewhere but the darkness had won.

"I want to trust you," he said. "But I can't."

Emma looked hurt by his words.

"Then we have nothing more to say to each other."

He suddenly found himself surrounded by gray mist. When it cleared he was standing out on the street, opposite of Emma's house. He looked up and saw her silhouette in one of the upstairs windows. She was clearly looking down at him.

"I'll be back," he murmured before turning on his heal and walking away.


	14. Far Longer Than Forever

_Inspired by the song "Far Longer Than Forever" from The Swan Princess._

* * *

"How'd you end up with like this?" Merida asked curiously as they were sitting by the bonfire, which Emma had created with her magic. It was dark and they had agreed to make camp for the night and continue their journey in the morning. The poor girl couldn't have gotten much sleep in the last couple of days judging by the dark circles under her eyes.

"How'd I end up as the Dark One?" Emma asked. "You really want to know about that?"

"I reckon that since you want to get rid of it you didn't take on the role willingly," Merida said.

"Actually I did," Emma admitted. "I had no choice, the darkness had to be tethered to a person and I wasn't about to let anyone else take it on. I did it to save my family. And now I have to find Merlin so he can help me destroy the darkness once and for all."

"That was very brave of you," Merida said. "What's your family like?"

Emma looked up at the stars with longing, hoping that they were alright. "Well," she said. "There's my parents, they're very overprotective but they mean well. Then there's my brother Neal who's only a baby and Henry, my son, I can't believe he's thirteen already, it won't be long now before he'll be chasing girls and he's just growing up so fast. And then there's my -" she fell silent, not knowing what to call him, she was thirty years old, the word boyfriend didn't seem to fit. "Well Killian, he's my - well we're-"

"Lovers?" Merida offered, causing Emma to blush. They hadn't even gone that far yet, she'd seen Killian shirtless a couple of times but that was as much as she had seen. It wasn't that she hadn't wanted to or that he hadn't wanted to, she was no virgin and although he hadn't told her much about his past experiences she reckoned he'd had plenty of experience in the three centuries he'd been alive. She wished that they hadn't waited as long, she didn't know if she was ever going to see him again or anyone else in her family. She'd have liked to have a memory like that to hold onto.

"I guess you could call it that, it's pretty complicated," Emma said.

"So you left them to go search for this - Merlin?" Merida guessed.

"Yeah, you could say that," Emma answered. "I don't want to endanger them, it's best they don't find me until all this is over."

"You think they'll come looking for you?"

"Probably, my family has a saying that we always find each other, I´m sure they'll try but they're very far away and this time I don't think they will."

.

Killian stood at the helm aboard the Jolly Roger, looking at the calm sea in front of him, clutching the Dark One's dagger in his hand. It was so dark out tonight that it was hard to see where the sky began and the water ended. He looked up at the stars, still not quite used to this realm's new constellations. He wondered if Emma was able to see the stars where ever she was now.

Where ever she was he would find her and get her back. Nothing had stopped him from finding her in the past and nothing was going to stop him this time either.

He closed his eyes, trying to imagine what Emma might be doing, hoping that she was alright. His Swan was a tough lass, she'd be able to fend off whichever monster that was unfortunate enough to cross her path. He had no doubt about that.

But gods, he missed her. The fake memories planted inside his head by the author made it seem like they had been separated for a lifetime. They didn't get more than a few hours together before she was taken from him again.

He looked down at the dagger in his hand, the one he'd wanted to get his hands - well hand - on for centuries. Now the mere sight of it filled him with disgust and he wanted nothing more than to throw it away, out of his sight. This cursed blade that used to bear the name of his worst enemy now had the name of the woman he loved written across it. The letters seemed to be staring up at him, taunting him, reminding him of how he not only failed to kill the crocodile but also to protect the heart of the woman he loved more than anything else in all the realms. She was gone, somewhere far away, completely alone, with the darkness inside her. He had to find her before it was too late.

"I'll find you Emma," he said to the dagger in his hand. "I swear to it!"


End file.
